Poem #15

Every time I pull up to that coffee shop,

Where I have meetings and see friends

I always walk past the table where we first met

From coffee cups to serenades on park tables

I thought I was past it

But under the layers

And layers and layers

I can’t help but wonder where we’d be

If I’d never told you what happened in South Carolina

Because I still read our messages

And look at the photos I have saved

I wonder if you do the same

Do you miss the midnights?

Hits on the pen

Your amp turned all the way down while you strummed your guitars

Trying not to wake your roommates

There are secrets only those nights know

When I tried so hard to shield you from the fears in your head

I gave you my best

But you never wanted to go all the way

Mutual “I love you” blurred all the lines

But for some reason we never strayed from the course

Always on the other end of a text at 12 am

And you picking me up in the dead of night

God, where would we be if I had just kept my mouth shut?

If I had just stayed in the palm of your hand

Would I be spending the witching hour with your hands on my body?

Would your charm still be my weakness?

With your painted nails and bandana in your hair

But I guess we’ll never know